Here's Lookin' At You Kid

2008-05-16T15:10:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's been a while (a loooong while) as some of my readers have pointed out, but I have good reason to have been absent for so long. I've been working hard and traveling harder. While I have no intention of slowing down now that summer vacation is near (although it's getting chillier here in Windhoek, our version of winter), I do hope to at least make a better attempt to write here more often. I had some amazing adventures in East Africa and sadly, had the misfortune of being in Kenya at the time of the election madness. I had already been there for several months when the elections happened and although I was nowhere near ready to leave (I never am, I love Kenya) my parents felt that it was best for my own safety to move on to Tanzania, which I hadn't planned on visisting til a few months later. It was heartbreaking to see what became of such a lovely country, but I'm quite glad to see that things are slowly but surely returning to their peaceful state. Tanzania was stuuuuuunning! Got to head to Mt. Kilimanjaro and visited Dar Es Salaam, Arusha and even Zanzibar. I think if I ever get tired of living in Namibia, TZ is my next home! Spoke to my old roommates Ama and Ngozi who are still in Canada and bragged about snorkeling and scuba diving while they were suffering through the dead of winter lol. I got some hate mail (sprinkled with love and laughter, of course) :) from them. I miss them and their crazy selves, but I don't miss Canada! For those who were raised in Africa like me, or lived in (however briefly) Africa, you all know that nothing can compare to the sweetness of the breeze in your hair or the sunshine on your face. There is just something about an African sunset that makes it unlike any other in the world. I am glad to be back and to have rekindled my love affair with my favorite continent! I'm going to visit some family in Europe in a few weeks, so more travel tales to come. It's good to be back, in more ways than one :)

2007-09-25T20:00:00.000-07:00

I'm back, back home, back to blogging, back to my senses, you get the point. Ok, so I have had quite a little journey across the southern cone of this beautiful continent and have come home to regroup before hitting up the eastern coast to visit some relatives and wonderful friends. A big Ramadan Karim to all my Muslim people (better late than never) and blessings to you all in this and the coming months. I took a million pics of the unbelievable things I saw on my trip and sure enough, I ended up forgetting my camera in a bathroom stall at the airport, only to realize once I had boarded and we were airborne. Typical of me and my absentmindedness. Oh well. I have not had much of a chance to write and update the blog, but I hope to do a little catching up before heading off on leg 2 of the journey. I have so many tales, I'm not quite sure where to begin. I'll mull it over and return soon, I'm exhausted and my bed is calling. Until next time.

2007-08-07T07:51:00.000-07:00

My journey home to Namibia was a safe, (alhamdulillah) if difficult one due to my unfortunately injured foot. It is much better, I am now walking with a cane and no crutches (yay!). It was wonderful to see all my family after so long, (I haven't returned in 4 years) and I was amazed at how different they all looked. I missed them terribly and, while I had some wonderful experiences in N. America, I'm very glad to be back to "the motherland." I am now in Capetown, S.Africa, visiting some old friends and schoolmates, and the beauty of this country never ceases to amaze me. I have been to S.Africa many times, but had never had the opportunity to do the one thing I have wanted to do for a very long time: visit Robben Island. For those of you who are not familiar with Robben Island, historically, in the 1600s, it was used as a lieu of imprisonment for Dutch rebels and leaders, who were exiled to S. Africa from other Dutch colonies. It later was used as a leper colony and eventually became a prison once again during Apartheid, housing some of the anti-apartheid movement's most important figures, the most prominent of course being, Nelson Mandela. In the late nineties, it was declared a World Heritage Site, and has become one of S. Africa's biggest tourist attractions.

I decided that now was the time for me to make the trip to R. Island and I knew just the person to accompany me: My father. I called him, as he was going to be coming to Cape Town on some business, to see if he would be interested. "Of course my child!" He responded enthusiastically just as I knew he would. My father, the history fanatic, had been to R. Island before, but he would not pass up an opportunity to do so again. He has always encouraged in his children a sense of curiosity and a thirst for knowledge, and so he was naturally pleased that I would take the initiative and invite him on such a journey. So a few days later, when my father had arrived, we headed over to the Robben Island museum in order to catch the boat heading out to the island. The boat ride itself was amazing, as you get a wonderful view of Cape Town. We landed on the island and got on a tour bus which took us around the island, all the while we were
being given the history of the island, from the time before the European settlers arrived to the days of apartheid. We were given a tour by a man named Phinneas, a former freedom-fighter and prisoner duirng apartheid and he took us around the prison showing us the ins and outs of the prison and giving us a detailed description of the life of an apartheid-era prisoner.

It was an incredibly moving trip and I felt emotionally drained by the end of it. Somehow, the spirit of all those who were imprisoned for so many years (sometimes decades) for fighting against a regime that debased and dehumanized them and treated them as inferior beings simply because of the colour of their skin, was still palpable. You could hear it in Phinneas' voice, feel it in the walls, see it in the prison yard. So much had happened there, so much history had taken place in between those walls, spirits were broken as well as strengthened and it was wonderful to be able to take part in such a tour. My father was a lovely companion, interjecting quietly every once in a while with some tid bit of information he felt I should know. He was quiet and lost in thought as always, and as we were leaving the island said to me: "My child, there are those who come here simply because the tour books tell them to do so and leave with nothing, and then there are those who arrive with curious hearts and minds, and leave with them more full than ever because they carry forth what they have seen and experienced here. I know you are in the latter category, I saw it in your face." That was all the closure I needed.

2007-07-04T10:19:00.001-07:00

Well it's been a good long while since my last post and that has been 60% due to me being busy and 40% due to sheer laziness. A great many things have happened since I last posted, so many in fact, that I don't even know where to begin!

I'll start with this...I broke my ankle while playing basketball (typical of me and my clumsy self)...which led me to go to the med clinic to get it checked out, where I just so happened to meet the man of my dreams...who turned out to be getting married 2 weeks from that very day...The story goes a little something like this...I hobbled into the clinic using my roommate Ama, who drove me there, as a crutch, she sat me down so that she could find a better parking spot...In walks this magnificent creature of a man, lookin all tall and scrumptious...anyway...he sits down next to me (and I'm looking as busted and sweaty and bummy as ever of course). After a few moments go by, he goes to me, "OOOHHHH, that doesn't look good" and is looking at my foot. Of course I'm horrified that he even looked in my direction as horrible as I look right now...I mumble something like "It feels worse than it looks if you can imagine" He goes..." Ya I can, I used to play football (soccer for you N. Americans) and I've seen and felt it all." I'm like DAMMIT!! He's a footballer (my one athlete weakness)?? This is is too much! The pain is making me delirious at this point and I'm afraid I'm going to say something I might regret, so I make some sort of mumbling noise to show acknowledgement...the guy keeps talking, starts asking me questions, where I'm from, what I do, etc...I tell him I'm Somali, just finished school am few months away from moving back to Namibia, where I grew up...He goes "No way! I'm half Somali half Italian!

So now I'm looking around for Ama to see of she's going to pop up from behind a door saying "It's June, but April fools biatch!" Cuz this has got to be a joke now...I'm in pain and pissed now so I go "Is this some kind of joke? Where's Ama?" He looks at me like I'm crazy...(I don't blame him) He goes " I don't know who Ama is, but this isn't a joke, my dad is Somali, my mom is Italian, I grew up in Italy, but I live here in Toronto now, I'm working as a financial consultant here. I just stare at him like I'm slow (mixture of pain and disbelief, he is sooooooo FINE, it's hard to look away and also because he looks mixed, but not the least bit Somali even though we come in all shades, I can still 96% (yes, I said 96%) of the time tell a Somali from a non Somali, even mixed ones)...So after a few moments, I aplogize and tell him I'm sorry I thought this was a joke, my roommate owes me one cause I played a really great one on her for April fools etc..." He starts laughing (I melted a little, he had dimples and a beautiful laugh) and goes "I see, I think we might get along, I'm a big prankster as well." I'm completely intrigued at this point, but there's something that is pulling at the back of my mind, so I ask him "So we know, why I'm here at the clinic, why are you?" He hesitates a little, then answers sheepishly (I wasn't imagining this, it was sheepish, like he was embarrassed to say) " My fiancee is a nurse here, our wedding is in 2 weeks and I came to pick her up to go check out the floral arrangements." I say "Oh that's nice." Meanwhile, my heart is completely sinking and I'm thinking damn bastard, why did you have to talk to me, I would've just admired you from afar in awe had you not. I'm sure my gut reaction is all over my face too because I'm terrible at hiding my emotions. And like clockwork, Ama comes strolling in and looks him over, raises her eyebrows at me and sits down with a big grin, and seconds later, his finacee comes into the room. The pair are like one of those ridiculous unfair couples that are almost too good looking to be together...I say to him "Well goodluck with everything (lamest last words EVER)" and I turn to Ama as he leaves with the wifey. I tell Ama the story and she laughs, saying " That is soooooo your life story!" I can't help but laugh at how right she is, this is typical of the kinds of scenarios I find myself in...until next time kids

2007-03-24T08:31:00.000-07:00

Greetings my 3 readers! So, as I mentioned in my last post, I'm getting ready to graduate in a bit. I've been running around trying to complete everything and tie up all these loose ends and once this is all done it'll be "no more pencils, no more books, no more teacher's dirty looks." Hurray! I'm being pressured by my parents to pursue a Master's degree after this and frankly, the thought makes me want to vomit. I could not possibly do a Master's right now, maybe in a few years, but for now, I NEED A BREAK!

I will be returning home to Namibia and will begin looking for a teaching job in Windhoek. I have to say that I will miss the great friends that I've made in my time in Toronto, but I will definitely NOT miss the city. I am not a fan and I'm not cut out for this winter shit. I am AFRICAN to my very core, and winter is not for me. People who go skiing and enjoy winter sports are insane to me, I would much rather be surfing at the beach back home anyday!!

My time in this city was not all bad though. For the first time in my life, I was exposed to my fellow Somalis and actually have some Somali friends now. This is a first for me, as I have had friends from pretty much everywhere but my own country. It hasn't been due to a lack of desire though. I simly haven't lived anywhere where Somalis have lived! I will miss my roomates, who are also international students from Africa and with whom I navigated my way through this city. I have traveled extensively in my life and thankfully, this has helped me to adjust to life in Toronto! Before I leave though, I would like to visit Montreal for a bit, I always hear wonderful things about it and have some dear friends who live there. If anybody reading this knows of interesting places to visit in Montreal, please leave a comment and let me know! Also, if there are any of you who have had a similar experience as me (no exposure to fellow Somalis), I would love to hear from you, it's hard to feel like a lone alien all the time! This has been my longest post to date, which means it's time to wrap it up, so until next time, Mac'salaama!

2007-03-18T08:52:00.000-07:00

It has suddenly dawned on me that I am about to graduate from uni and have no idea what I am going to do next. I will be graduating with a degree in english lit, which incidentally happens to be the most useless degree a uni grad can hold. Why did I major in eng lit do you ask? Well, dear reader, the answer is because I was not thinking about the future at the time that I started my undergrad and I now must suffer the consequences of such a stupid decision. No offense to all my fellow english lit grads out there, but I personally feel it was a waste. Keats, Joyce and Hemingway will not pay my bills.

P.S. The next person I hear say "wawaweewa" is going to get the worst beating the world has ever witnessed....and on that positive and loving note, until next time people!

2007-03-12T09:43:00.000-07:00

Somalis are a cruel bunch I tell you. I speak from experience believe me. I happen to be one of the unlucky few who was born and raised in a country (Namibia) where there were few if any Somalis at all and as a result, my somali language skills have suffered. I'm barely functional and, while it is quite pathetic, it is not my fault. I have lived in Namibia my whole life, except for my recent (and current) stint in Toronto for uni, and frankly, have never seen as many somalis in my lifetime as I have seen in this city. I have been ridiculed and criticized for not speaking the language. I've been called whitewashed, westernized and everything else under the sun. People have said "kids who were born here speak it, why don't you?" Kids here, live in a city FULL of somalis, of course they speak it, but I grew up in a region where somalis were a rarity, it can't be held against me! I fear that it is now too late for me to learn it, as I'm in my early 20s. It has always bothererd me, but never more so than when I moved to this place. I guess it's something I'll have to deal with until and if I ever manage to learn it!

2007-02-08T19:46:00.000-08:00

This business about the crazy astronaut who tried to off some chick is the funniest thing I've heard since Dick Chaney shooting that old dude in the face...it's pure absurdity and hilarity and is really what made my week as entertaining as it was. You can't write fiction better than that, I can already see a CBS movie of the week coming up. The best part...she wore a diaper so that she wouldn't have to make any bathroom stops hahahahahahahahahaha.......ahahahahahahahaha.....oh, I needed that laugh.

Anyway, I'm stuck with a severe case of writer's block which is not terribly welcomed at this point in my life because I have 3 papers due next week, none of which I have even begun to research, let alone write. I thought maybe getting back to my blog might help, but writing about loony astronauts is not exactly helpful in overcoming such a block. I think it has a great deal to do with winter, a.k.a. the most depressing 6 months of my life...if there were ever a spokesperson for the negative effects of winter on the psyche, it would without a doubt be me. Bloody snow and wind and flu and stupid winter boots and all the other bs that comes along with it!!! Looks like I'll be pulling an all-nighter trying to get paper #1 out of the way asap...if any of the 2 or 3 people who actually read this blog have any tips for writer's block, please leave a comment!!! I need help!!!

2007-01-14T19:39:00.000-08:00

My neighbour's children are killing any affection I ever had towards children. They are loud, rude little punks who run wild and have no consideration for anybody. I have a good mind to leave a dictionary on her doorstep open to the page where the word DISCIPLINE is displayed and circled in red. Kids these days are unbelievable. I tell u my mother would have beat the hell out of me if I acted the way these children do. When I was growing up, boy did we ever receive discipline and believe me when I say that we knew better than to test my mother's patience for fear of incurring her wrath. The thing about my neighbour's kids is that they step all over her and her feeble attempts to address their rude actions in public are completely ignored by the kids. They simply go on being wild and annoying as hell to the rest of us who have the misfortune of living on the same floor as them. Being a single mother cannot be easy I concede, but a little backbone would surely help matters when it comes to disciplining your kids. I cannot even pretend to know the problems or challenges this woman is facing, but frankly, when your children are kicking my door as if they are going to break it down at 11pm just for their own amusement, I don't give a shit...I will check them. Call me insensitive and I'll check you too. How's that for insensitive!

2007-01-12T08:20:00.000-08:00

Wow, it's been a long time. I wish I could say that my life has been extremely busy during this time and that is why I have not written anything, but the fact is I've reverted to my old lazy blogging ways. I have recently begun to workout at the gym for the first time in my completely unathletic life and man, I am SERIOUSLY out of shape! It's sad, I'm young, but I see these old women at the gym who are at least 20x fitter than me! It's quite pathetic really. I'm on the treadmill "speed walking" and there is this 50-60 yr old woman on the one next to me running like she's in a marathon. I was horrified at my unfit state, being put to shame by old women! The problem is that not only am I living a sedentary lifestyle, not doing any activity, but I have no natural athletic ability, so it takes me a long time to get the hang of these things lol. Maybe I should take up a sport? Ya right lol...

2006-10-10T17:45:00.000-07:00

it was a long weekend this past one and so i went over to my friend's house and she had just bought the first and second season dvds of Lost. Now, I've heard people ranting and raving about this show but I'd never actually watched an episode......I am HOOKED! This thing is insane and has a way of sucking you into the story even though you have no idea what's actually going on because there are so many secrets and weird things happening. So, now I can add Lost to the list of my many obsessions. The main ones these days are youtube, my digital camera and my rubik's cube, it kills me and i will not rest until I am able to do it in my sleep......and i wonder why i'm an insomniac......maybe i should get some obsessions that don't interfere with my sleep....i'll sleep on it lol......

2006-10-09T20:22:00.000-07:00

9/14/06 was my last entry....slacking as usual...anyway...i have to say that i'm lovin' this somali blog site. There are some extremely interesting and very entertaining blogs and bloggers out there and i for one, can appreciate that. So keep up the good work everyone, although it seems kind of hypocritical of me to say that when I can barely keep up with my own blog...practice...moving on...i watched this documentary last night about war dissenters and how they are being persecuted in the u.s., quite fascinating stuff, peaceful protesters getting abused by police and arrested...this is the world we live in, so bright and sunny it's almost blinding......peace, peace, peace, my people......."you may say i'm a dreamer, but i'm not the only one"

2006-09-14T21:12:00.000-07:00

What a surprise, I've fallen behind on my blogging...I'm shocked I tell you, SHOCKED!! Anyway, I was watching the news and they were talking about George Clooney going to the UN and pleading for more aid to be sent to Sudan. I can't hate on him for caring. However, I can hate on the fact that nobody cares about Sudan until some famous white person like Clooney or Bono or A. Jolie comes along and talks about it. This is highly offensive because it is as if to say that the problems Africans face are inconsequential if not acknowledged by some celebrities. People are dying! I mentioned Sudan, but the issue is relevant to all African nations in a state of conflict or crisis, including our very own. And what about the thousands of unknown activists and people working on a regular basis on the front lines who are not famous? Is their work not just as valid? Frankly, the whole thing sickens me. They treat Africa as a joke, and personally, as an African, I truly resent it. After a history of colonialism, the continent has been sucked dry and now they turn to us with that same old colonial mentality and say, why is Africa in such a terrible state, well because the Africans are savages of course! FURY AND FRUSTRATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-08-27T19:36:00.000-07:00

So my people, here we are again, I find myself actually coming back to this blog much more often than I had predicted. This is a good thing. Anyway, I was on the bus today and I all of sudden noticed the overwhelming silence that is such a rarity on public transportation and it got me thinking about how all too often, people speak just to fill the air because they're afraid to be in the presence of silence. Frankly, I feel a bit of silence can do us all some good from time to time, since it gives us the chance to focus on things other than the various forms of noise in our lives. For once, the bus was not humming with the chatter of people; acquaintances who happened to be taking the same bus home, feeling that they had to be polite and strike up a meaningless convo. Or friends discussing the most mundane and minute details of their lives. Or any other form of conversation and talk one may normally find when taking public transportation. When I was younger, when introducing me to people, my father would always tell these people how shy I was because I was not one to speak at lengths with adults I did not know. One day I told him that it wasn't because I was shy, rather it was because I had nothing to say and therefore didn't feel the need to speak. Of course, despite the fact that he laughed heartily at what I said, my dad told me (in that encouraging way that fathers have of making their small children feel as though everything they say is of great value LOL) that I had a very good point. I know he thought that it was silly, but to this day, I still feel the same way. Why speak, just because we are afraid of awkward silences? Awkward conversations are worse...

2006-08-26T06:57:00.000-07:00

Welcome back to the show ladies and gentlemen. Today we will be discussing the widespread phenomenon of...toxic people. You know them, maybe, you even are one of them (without knowing of course). One of those draining people, who tend to bring with them a toxic air wherever they go. Unfortunately, I have many of these people in my life, even though I fancy myself a rather positive sort. They may also be known as "haters" and engage in what is commonly referred to as "hateration" (not to be confused with the actual, existing, proper english word "hatred"). The haters in my life are mostly girls, hating on other girls for one reason or another, although I do come across haters of other sorts as well. Regardless of the reason behind their hateration antics, these people are killin' my vibe. So, my question to myself and to the 3 of you in the blogosphere who actually read this blog is, how do you avoid these kinds and if you already know some, then how do you get rid of them? Do you burn bridges entirely or is it a processual thing that takes time and finesse? I like to be diplomatic about these (and most) sorts of things, you know, proper manners and what not, so I try to not to be too big of a cow and shoot people down directly, however, sometimes, haters are in need of just that...

2006-08-24T18:49:00.000-07:00

I know some of you think I'm getting a bit ahead of myself when I say summer is over. However, it is simply my way of mentally preparing myself for the stress of the semester ahead, not to mention the dreaded winter. I have to let go of summer otherwise I won't be in the right mindframe for school because I'll be caught up in lazy summer days filled with warm sun and smoothies and walks in the park and all that goodstuff...*sigh* I miss it already...

2006-08-22T08:14:00.000-07:00

Summer is over. School is here again. Time to refresh my brain, oyyyyy, it hurts!

2006-08-05T19:09:00.000-07:00

I have reached that point in your very early twenties, still a few years before you hit your mid-twenties, where people you've known since childhood start to get married and settle down and somehow, I seem to have missed the memo that we are all serious adults now. Not that I'm not serious, I certainly am on the serious rather than frivolous side, however, marriage to me, is no joke and it is such a "grown up" thing to do. Grown I am, a "grown up" however? Not quite. I haven't yet reached that stage and although it may seem rather strange, it appears that most people my age are in the same boat as me. There are the "tweens," which are the kids that are not quite teens yet, then there are the teens, and then there are what I like to call the "twenteens" which are those of us who are no longer teens, but aren't quite into our twenties yet and still, quite frankly, do not have our acts as together as we would like. At first I thought this was a unique thing and that I was probably the only loser to feel this way, arrested in my development so to speak. However, as I seem to be discovering more and more, I am not alone and am in fact, part of quite a phenomenon of young people who are feeling left out of the proverbial loop. If this makes us a tad bit slower than our counterparts all over, then so be it. Marriage is cool and all, but like I said, it's no joke and I'd rather get married a little later and be sure than to be married young and divorced early. Not to say that all young married couples end in divorce...Alas, I digress. In the end, what it boils down to really is, to each his own...

2006-08-02T09:53:00.000-07:00

I thought that perhaps, after a 2 year hiatus, I should give this blog thing another shot. The thing is, I have no patience to stay on top of a blog, this takes time, and patience, a resource and a virtue I unfortunately do not possess. However, I think it's a good exercise in discipline and time management, so once again, here I am, in the blogosphere. Summer is upon us and almost passing us all at once. Although winter is extremely offensive and absolutely unbearable, this is perhaps the time of year that saddens me the most because summer is drawing to a close and everybody knows it. There is a frantic buzz in the air, people trying to get all those things done that they had planned to do at the beginning of the summer and of course, never got around to doing. Still though, it is summer after all, so I can't be entirely sad. I procrastinated a bit more than I should have, but all in all, it was quite a decent summer. I took full advantage of the weather, outdoor activities galore, and that my friends, is what summer is all about...

2004-12-08T16:14:00.000-08:00

I have high speed internet but you'd hardly be able to tell considering the fact that my computer is moving at a snail's pace. I hate technology. Except for ipods, I reeeeeaaaaaally want one of those. So, my sister just came back from Paris the lucky...ummm, girl. She can't stop raving about it. Meanwhile, I was stuck in the rain/snow/ice of this lovely city I call home. I am soooo not made for winter. I truly think it has something to do with my ancestral genes. That's my excuse for being a wimp.

2004-02-25T06:36:00.000-08:00

Ahhhh, a fresh blog is like the first day of summer. You have all these plans for it, and it generally all goes to waste. On that cheerful note, let's talk about family. Now, I have a medium sized family with members that are all rather strange(myself included) and at some point or another somebody is always fighting with somebody and somebody is always giving somebody else the silent treatment. However, despite all the internal squabbling, we always come together when we need each other. This is a beautiful thing, it really is. I know that even if my brother and I have just had the biggest fight, if something happens and I need him, he'll step up. It's a wonderful feeling. So this post, is a little shout out to my family even though none of them will be reading it. It's just my way of acknowledging the fact that they drive me up the wall, but I still dig em. I figure if I put the positive messages and vibes out there,they will feel them(hey it's my logic and it works for me alright?)